Yet Another Typical Fanfic Featuring an OC Taking the Hunter Exam
by Renko The Ghost
Summary: All college student Lena wanted to do was pass the Hunter Exam to pay off her student loans.
1. She Enters The Exam

**Author's Note:** Hi, fanfictioners! I decided to play out the typical Hunter x Hunter route, which is making the OC take the 287th Hunter Exam. I would've made the OC male, but... I don't know. I thought this particular scenario I have would be more even more hilarious if played out by a female. I can't give out too much, but... Just read. Or don't. I don't really care.

* * *

The scenery was a bland, yet vast underground tunnel. At the very start of the strange place where nearly everyone was standing – waiting for something, there wasn't anything to indicate what would happen there. If anyone should happen to try to look further ahead, they would only be met with the pitch-black darkness of the underground.

…Yet, in all the hushed and loud conversations, and eerie drippy drips of the rain echoing throughout the tunnel, a voice was proclaiming victory.

"Yes!" the voice, which obviously came from a woman-type person exclaimed, "I've reached the site of the Hunter Exam!"

The woman was doing a little dance, celebrating before whatever hell was ahead could change her mind. Reaching the site of the Hunter Exam was honestly NOT a big deal, however for an unfortunate college student buried in student loans once they graduate it was. It was because passing meant being given a Hunter License, which would ward off such diabolical fees.

And so a big deal it was.

"Oh, wait!" Lena stopped her little dance. "I haven't passed SHIT!" She then frowned. She did not know if the exam had started already. She did not how many parts there would be. Hell, she did not even know if she would even make it out ALIVE!

So she did the second best thing ever. She walked over to someone and whispered into their ear , "Hey, did the exam begin yet?"

The person she asked was already quite preoccupied, though. They were scrolling through an R-18 magazine filled with lots of nakey-naked goodie nudieness and Lena gasped as she peered over the image of a big butt.

"YOU ARE FULL OF SIN!" she pointed a finger at the butt. "HOW CAN YOU LOOK AT THIS AS AN EXAM STARTS?!"

Said person who enjoyed the image of the booty answered, "What are you talking about? This is the stuff, the good stuff. This is how I'll survive this exam."

"Don't tell me you're actually just wanting to pass the exam so you can be a permanent guest at the Playguy Mansion!" Lena exclaimed.

Before the unfortunate person could continue, she did a full 360 around the boulevard to her original question. "Has the exam started yet?"

The person, who was actually what looked like a seven year old girl, glared. "No." They then grabbed a strand of Lena's thick, sea-green, vegan-colored hair and started to pull it. As the loli tugged, Lena could feel tears building up in her brown, near-poo colored eyes.

The kid stopped and closed their porno magazine. "Hey, you seem interesting, though. Why don't we team up and kick that guy over there?"

The shawty pointed to a nerdy looking, glasses-wearing guy, because that's always the stereotype.

"Oh, him?" Lena asked after getting ahold of her own hair again, "But why?"

The petite girl sighed. "That is the guy who's always asking for lunch money from me. That or subway money. His name is Oules."

"…And?"

"He calls himself Oules Von Hellsin – Note, that SIN has an I, not a O, and he's very lame. I want to kill him."

Lena shook her head. "What the hell?" But Lena also had to think for a moment. Where had she seen that name before?

Oh, that's right, at the college she was going to.

"N-No!" she stated, "We can't fight him! You can't fight him! He's… He's….!"

"A freaking fuzzball who would make love to his computer if you leave him alone with it!" the little girl finished angrily.

"No! He's… He's…"

The petite princess rolled up her sleeves and eased her muscles, because she had received a muscle cramp the day before. "Aw, fuck off then! I'll deal with him myself. Didn't need your help anyway!" She also stuck her tongue out.

And off she went.

Off to pick a fight with Oules Von Hellsin.

Lena shut her eyes tightly as she braced for the horror.

"Wait for it…" she thought to herself, "Wait for it…"

In less than ten seconds, the little girl was face-planted and she probably died. Lena did not know. Lena did not care. All Lena wanted to do was pay off her stupid students loans with a Hunter License.

"Well I would've warned her that Oules was a monster…" she said to herself. "No matter! The exam hasn't started yet so…"

"What do I do now?"

Lena stared at all the other candidates other than herself. She played with her number tag as she and the number tag tried to figure it out together.

Lena eyed a smoll boy clad in green, a tall guy who looked like he probably attended her college as well, and a short blonde with a Light Yagami/Justin Bieber haircut.

"NOT IMPORTANT." She clearly stated, but then a short pudgy man in blue walked up to her. He had a square nose and was holding can of a drink of some sort.

"Hi there. You're here for the exam, right?" the man asked.

Lena nodded and smiled. At least he wasn't looking at porn. "Yup, but who isn't?"

The man chuckled, "Well, I haven't seen you from the previous exams. Is this your first time?"

"Yes, actually. How did you know? Are you a veteran?"

"Yes. This is actually my 36th year here."

"What does that mean? Do you continue to receive more benefits if you do the exam every year?"

"No, I just fail that much." The fat man chuckled.

Lena gasped! "Oh my dog! That's like me, when I failed twelfth grade thrice! I was also rejected by fifteen different colleges. I think it was my SAT scores, but hey! That's okay! I skipped one grade back when I was in elementary school so it wasn't too bad.

The pudgy man looked at her like 'wtf?' but he offered to shake hands with her anyway.

"The name's Tonpa. You?"

Lena looked at his hand hesitantly. "I'm Lena, and I'm also germaphobic, so how about we try something else?"

Tonpa agreed and they fist bumped instead.

"HELL YEAH!"

After the fist bump, Tonpa held out a can of what now seemed to be a drink. Was it juice? Was it soda? Was it beer? Was it a drink infused with some sort of poison – a laxative that gives you the ATOMIC RUNS?

Pfft, no. It couldn't be that.

"Care for a drink? It's always nice to see a new face around here."

Lena peered at can for 30 seconds before giving off her answer.

"Hey, is that Banta? It's Banta, right? I LOVE BANTA!"

Tonpa made a rather awkward smile and handed it to her. "Y-Yes… It's Banta alright."

Then Lena took up the drink and bowed to him many, many, MANY times. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you SO, _SO_ much, sir. I was very thirsty on my jog here!"

Tonpa then slowly backed away with a funny smile and nodded. "You're welcome!"

Lena was left alone with her can of Banta, and she grinned widely. "This is what life is all about." she said.

She then opened up her can of Banta. She was happy that it didn't spray all over her red cheongsam/qipao, and proceeded to chug the contents down. It tasted so good. The carbonated, bubbly goodness. The fizziness. The slight burn sensation as it slid down her throat. It was Banta. It was definitely Banta.

Sadly, poor Lena didn't realize the exam was already beginning to start. It was after she finished the can that she noticed people running off.

"Hey, wait for me!" she yelled as she followed everyone, who she observed were following a man in a purple suit.

Lena gasped. "He looks like my college professor! I hope he doesn't give me another F!"

She then dashed after everyone else and realized wearing heels was not a good choice.

"I thought this would be a fashion show, not a runaway!"

* * *

After quite some time of running, Lena suddenly felt a strange sensation in her stomach. It was not a good one. Like the ones she experienced after drinking a milkshake or eating ice cream despite being lactose intolerant.

She was astounded. Almost astounded that she could stop running, but she couldn't stop running. The student loans were building up. They were going to continue to build up.

So she ignored the feeling and continued to run.

Eventually, it became unbearable. Lena started to feel quite gassy. She couldn't handle it anymore. It was hard to hold in the fartsies and run simultaneously.

"Ughhh…" she said to herself, "I'm not even sure if I can keep up with everyone else."

Too bad for her, though, the farts only became worse.

She couldn't help it anymore. She had to let out one. Just one.

Just one little gas bomb.

And so she did.

. . . . . .

Unfortunately, it was more than she could handle. As the participants of the exam began to quicken their paces to catch up with Mr. Mustache, Lena…

Lena…

BLASTED HER WAY PAST THE CROWD LIKE NASA LAUNCHING A ROCKET TO SPACE!

The gassy gasness created such acceleration that she was being propelled by the farts. Lena fart boosted past EVERYONE. Even Tonpa, who was fat and slow. Even the examiner in the purple suit. Even the green-clad shorts boy, he and his unimportant friends with the addition of an _also_ unimportant white-haired, skateboard-wielding child.

She was speeding her way to the finish line.

She was also moving faster than Sanic.

"DAMN IT, THIS IS NOT THE LIFE! I SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN THAT ICE CREAM LAST NIGHT!"

"The icecream was good though."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Yes, Lena is stupid. That was the point. I also thought the idea of making the OC accept the beverage from Tonpa would be awesome because that _ALMOST ALWAYS_ doesn't happen in HxH fanfictions here. Either that or the stupid OC decides they must copy Killua's "OH I'M IMMUNE TO POISON!" or some other crap, lel.

 **Key:** Playguy = Playboy (obviously)

Banta = Fanta

Go ahead and leave flames or whatever; I made this for fun and after a night of eating too much chocolate lol. I might not ever continue this either.


	2. She Destroys Precious Property

Lena had farted her way through the tunnel and was speeding her way past the swamp. All the other unfortunate candidates and creatures in the swamp were left with the gift – the gift that is the smell of smelly farts.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" she screamed as she tried to keep her red qipao/cheongsam from blowing off.

When she looked ahead, she could see a large structure but she wasn't sure if it was a building or a giant monster. And as much as she wanted to stop moving, she couldn't fight against the force of the boost. She was moving too fast for her own good!

 _CRAAAAAAAAAASH!_

. . . . .

Lena opened her eyes to see what looked like the inside of a building. She was lying atop rubble from a section of it she destroyed. There were two people already there, and they were looking at her like 'WTF?!'

"Did the gas attack finally stop?" she asked them.

"Gas attack? GAS ATTACK? YOU JUST DESTROYED PRECIOUS PROPERTY!" a woman screamed. Lena could see that she had turquoise hair with five pigtails sticking atop her head. She was quite scantily clad, wearing nice boots. Lena thought she looked cool. Too cool to be a candidate.

"Ahaahaha," she awkwardly laughed, rubbing her head, "I'm very sorry about that! You see, I had ice cream last night and-"

"I DON'T GIVE A SHOE FLY PIE ABOUT YOUR FART ISSUE, THE SITE HAS BEEN DESTROYED!" the woman from before yelled again.

"Menchi, should we punish her?" a really big fat man asked, as far as Lena could see.

So her name was Menchi….

Menchi pulled out quite a few knives from what seemed to be her ass, or at least Lena came to that conclusion. She then answered, "You don't say? This place needs to be repaired so that it'll look intimidating once more when the candidates show up!"

"Actually, I was _asking_." the fat man declared.

"Shut up, Buhara!"

Lena raised a hand before an argument could spark between the two. "I'm a candidate for this year's exam!"

"Sure you are," Menchi responded sarcastically, "As far as I can tell, you're some sort of alien from another planet who just CRASHED into the second phase of the Hunter Exam site!"

Lena raised her head in pure shock! "This is the second phase of the Hunter Exam's site?!" She then started jumping up in joy. "Hooray! Hooray! I made it!"

Menchi pointed a knife to her neck. "Not so fast. You may have 'passed' the first phase, but you won't be getting by me with just that."

Lena shivered with little sweat drops falling off her face and nodded slowly out of fear. "…Uh-huuh…?"

"Buhara!" Menchi yelled once more, "The materials!"

Buhara nodded before picking up a large piece of the rubble and tossing it toward Lena.

Lena escaped Menchi's wrath and moved the HELL out of the way. "Waaaaah! What are you doing?!"

"You're going to fix this building up, nice and new." Menchi commanded. "Buhara! Continue!"

Buhara tossed more chunks of the destroyed portions of the building toward Lena. Lena continued to run for her dear life. When she reached a dead end (quite literally, a corner), she was forced to roll away toward a sofa, which she used as a shield.

"H-Hey! Don't you want to at least get to know me first?!" Lena asked.

"WHO CARES! YOU INTRUDED!" Menchi screamed.

Lena shook her head wildly as she braced herself for the next fragment thrown at her. She figured she was already suffering from a huge headache from the crash, a few bleeding wounds that needed to be treated, and her dress was torn slightly, so why should she have to do more work injured?!

To her surprise – even from behind the couch, nothing else was tossed at her. She was hugging her knees in fear.

"Fine, fine." Menchi said as she seemed to appear next to the young lady. "I'll spare you."

"But you still have to repair my building before every else catches up."

Lena nodded shakingly. "Yes, ma'am!" She then stood up and made an awkward smile toward the other woman. "Where do I start?"

"Good, good." Menchi replied with a smile of approval, "It's just one big hole over there. Buhara will give you the construction materials necessary."

"And you?" Lena asked, though she did feel really, really stupid for bothering to ask.

Menchi furrowed her brow. "Me? Why, I'm going to sit here and look cute, of course!" She sat down on the sofa and crossed her legs. Her knives had been put away… into hammerspace, or her own ass as Lena had guessed before.

Lena then sighed. "I look forward to working for you…" She dragged a large fragment of the building that was thrown directly as her and dragged it toward the large hole. "How do I patch it up?" she asked, looking to Buhara.

Buhara held out a giant roll of duct tape.

"This." he said.

Lena lifted a brow, like 'wtf?', but she had to do it. She had to patch it up with duct tape.

And so she did.

"How the hell did things end up like this?" she wondered to herself as she wrapped the chunk in duct tape, "I only ate a spoonful of that ice cream…"

The stupid wench would have never realized it was because of the drink from the old man, Tonpa. The supposed Banta.

Today, the Hunter Exam, just didn't seem as promising as it did before. But Lena would do it… or else the students loans would kill her.

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 **Author's Note:** I can't believe I actually wrote another chapter for this. xD Speaking of chapters, I actually typed up this chapter up the day after the first one (August 29), but I felt and saw no need to continue/update this. Buuuut... Seeing how this fandom lacks humor fics made me change my mind.

It's short. Sorry. I don't expect to receive any views or reviews on this FF tbh. It literally has 5 views. I wrote this for my brother to laugh his ass off at. I was very happy to see that someone actually reviewed and followed it, though! Thanks to that person! (Sorry, I forgot your username.)


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